Still more ways to save on the big event.

I never realized how much "extra" stuff was associated with a wedding. Gifts for attendants. Gifts for parents. Gifts for the person you're going to marry. Rehearsal dinner.

Yeah. It's enough to nickel and dime you to death and it can take a huge bite out of your wedding budget if you're not careful.

I'll start with the last one first: the rehearsal dinner. What we did? Barbecue in my mom's backyard! It was fun, festive, laid-back, and inexpensive (as compared to a restaurant). After we did a wedding walk-through at the church, we headed back to my mom's for the dinner. We grilled steaks and had baked potatoes, salad, all the fixings. My mom has a bar in her house, adjacent to the screened in back deck. We set up tables on the back deck, lit tiki torches all around the yard, and had a ball! Granted, it was nothing formal... but it was fun. It gave everybody a chance to laugh and relax.

Gifts for the attendants. I do love personalized things and I do love silver. I don't love the price, however. Normally, I would not even THINK of shopping at a place like Things Remembered - a specialty store and, therefore, expensive... but I was pleasantly surprised when I started keeping my eye on them. When the clearance sales hit, I jumped! I bought a picture frame for my parents, a cigar set for the best man, a multitool for the usher, a compact and picture frame for the matron of honor... all for a very good deal. BUT, I didn't get them personalized at the store. THAT's their bit - their engraving fee is high.

Instead, I took the items to a local trophy shop and had them engraved for a lot less. A LOT less!

I didn't have a DJ at the reception. I just burned several CDs of "ambient" music and had a CD player at the reception. Wedding music was the same - the usher was in the back of the church with a CD player. The wedding was in the early afternoon, so it wasn't late enough to be a formal "dinner and dancing" sort of affair - that was another conscious decision to save money!

The photographer was a friend of mine who did photography as a side business... so he cut me a deal. The caterer was the photographer's WIFE! She cut me a deal, too. The pictures are fantastic and cost about $500 (that's everything, including the photographer's fee), which is very, very reasonable for wedding photography.

I have to say this - if you can at all afford a caterer, DO IT! It was totally worth it to me to have somebody set everything up, prepare all the food, haul it to the reception site, and CLEAN UP after everybody! If you ask around, you might be surprised about who offers catering services, and they might not be as expensive as you think. I paid less than $8 per person, and we had TONS of food that was all incredibly delicious and beautifully presented.

A major help for me was to be able to pay fees and such in payments. I didn't have to pay the photographer everything in one lump sum, neither did I have to pay the caterer in one lump sum. I paid them each a 25% deposit, then 25% a little later, then 25% still a little later, then the remaining balance in full was paid 10 days before the wedding. It helps if you plan things out far enough in advance.

The Zen of living without credit... why "Zen?"

Zen involves letting go of attachments - to physical, emotional, all kinds of things. When we let go of the attachments, then we achieve true enlightenment. We discover that we already have everything we need.

Keeping this in mind, I believe that it is within everyone's reach to get free from the DebtMonster. We just have to let go. Do we really need huge plasma screen TVs to make us happy? Do we need brand-new cars or this widget or that designer clothing? No, we don't.

What do we need?

Air - that's still free, at least for now

Water - it's virtually free. If you're sworn to drinking only bottled water, I dare you to read this report.

Food - you can choose your own fate with this one. Think it can't be done? Look at this example of grocery success! Coupons can be very useful.

Clothing - Do we really need the designer labels? Will little Junior REALLY die if he doesn't get those fancy sneakers? There's nothing wrong with discount stores, yard sales, etc., unless you are opposed to saving money.

Shelter - Do we really need to live in a McMansion? The right house in the right location may mean prestige, but at what price?

Let go of the attachment to "keep up with the Joneses." They are not in charge of your happiness. YOU are. Would you rather live surrounded by "stuff," but broke, drowning in debt, fighting about money and stressed out over how you're ever going to pay for it all? Or would you rather live modestly, not worrying about how the bills are going to get paid, happy, and content?

It's achievable... once you learn to let go.

When you let go of the attachments, you no longer feel like you're having to "do without" things. You don't feel less privileged. You are no longer jealous of other people's stuff. You are content, knowing that you have everything you need. It is very liberating, and you find that you gain so much more in return - peace, most especially.

At this point, don't be alarmed if you find yourself wanting to help others. It's called compassion, and it's another thing you'll gain, once you let go.